Love-bombing on the surface might sound enjoyable and exciting but the sad reality for many victims of domestic abuse is that it is a subtle form of coercive control. Here, McAlister Family Law’s Melissa Jones looks at how love-bombing works and what guidance is offered.

You might have noticed that this very issue is being tackled on Emmerdale at the moment with Belle King’s husband Tom showering Belle with gifts to further his abuse against her and manipulate her.

Examples of love bombing might be:

• Showering your partner with lavish gifts
• Showering your partner with affection
• Showering your partner with compliments
• Showering your partner with lots of attention
• Showering your partner with texts/calls

How does love-bombing work

The above methods, of which there are many more, are deployed by perpetrators of domestic abuse  to control their partner and manipulate them. It may be used in the midst of other abuse such as verbal, physical and financial abuse, to confuse the victim and   exert control.

CPS have updated their guidelines

In 2023 the Crown Prosecution Service updated its guidance to include “love bombing” as a sign of abuse.

Women’s Aid responded positively to the inclusion above and stated as follows:

“ We welcome the inclusion of love bombing in the Crown Prosecution Service’s guidance on abuse. Love bombing is a dangerous tactic often used by abusers in the early stages of the relationship to set the scene for coercive control. It includes excessive and inappropriately showering someone with gifts, compliments, texts, phone calls, promises, attention, or affection which can quickly turn into abuse. With the change that ensures post-separation coercive and controlling behaviour is included in the criminal offence, it is important for all agencies to understand the behaviours that underpin different forms of abuse, stalking and harassment and how to recognise them. Alongside this, the government must ensure that criminal justice agencies have training from specialists to properly understand coercion, including how it can manifest after a relationship ends. 

“Controlling and coercive behaviour takes many forms with these often being misunderstood, minimised and downplayed. Although love bombing might seem innocent, or even romantic, it is a controlling tactic of abuse which can be frightening for a victim or a warning sign that abuse is escalating.”

How do I get help if I feel this is happening to me or someone I know?

Thankfully the above storyline is shining a light on this subtle form of domestic abuse and might help give a voice to those who are experiencing this.

If you believe you are, or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse, then there are ways to help you, and them. At McAlister Family Law we can help victims of domestic abuse by advising them on the most appropriate course of action in their particular situation.

There are many options we might need to explore, such as  whether a telephone call to the police is needed or if you might need help in seeking refuge in a safe environment.  Alternatively it might be that a court application is needed for an injunction order such as a Non Molestation Order or Occupation Order.

A Non-Molestation Order is an order that prohibits your partner or spouse from using or threatening violence against you or your children, or intimidating, harassing or pestering you.

An Occupation Order is an order requiring your partner or spouse to leave the home. Orders can be made to suspend an individual’s right to occupy the home and in some circumstances exclude the individual from a defined area around the home.

Anyone who requires help or support can contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline which is open 24/7 365 days per year on 0808 2000 247 or via their website https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

If you or someone you know is affected by the issues raised in this blog post, we can provide you with expert legal advice. For more information, please get in touch with our specialist team at hello@mcalisterfamilylaw.co.uk